Aunt Ethel’s Guide to Home Security

Because banks are shady and burglars never check the rinse cycle.

We had a friend by the name of Moisha, and his Aunt Ethel was in her early 90's at the time.  Through Moisha, we had the pleasure of meeting Ethel and becoming friends with her over the years. Even though she wasn't our actual Aunt - she wanted us to call her Aunt Ethel, so we did! She was quite the character, and she made us laugh a lot! We have many Aunt Ethel stories to tell within this blog- and little by little they will come out.

 Aunt Ethel had her own ideas about safeguarding valuables. Especially her personal important papers, like the deed to her home, life insurance policies and above all, her investments in the stock market because that became her bread and butter after retirement. She invested well and as a result, she was a millionaire! She didn’t trust banks. She didn’t trust most people. But apparently, she did trust her dishwasher!

One day Moisha was helping her do some things in her house and he went to load the dishwasher. He opened it up and much to his surprise, it was already loaded - with all her important papers! He asked her why all these papers were all tucked inside the unused appliance! 

She replied: “If anyone ever breaks in, I’m certain they won’t find my papers in the dishwasher!”

She wasn’t wrong.

And just to be thorough, she also taped envelopes with $10,000 to the backs of every picture in her home. Her logic?

“No one will look behind that picture of me or that picture with the Jewish star!”

Honestly, if Gladys ever needs a security consultant, we know who to call! (Glady's is another story for another time).

Aunt Ethel’s Rinse Cycle Rating™

Category Rating Security Ingenuity 🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠 (5/5) — Dishwasher-grade brilliance Paranoia Level 😳😳😳😳 (4/5) — Trusts no one, not even the fridge Legacy Impact 🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️½ (4.5/5) — Her logic may outlive the banks Gladys Compatibility 💯 — She’d hire Ethel in a heartbeat Fiasco Factor 🍝 (1/5) — No actual disaster, just eccentric genius